Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.
– H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Do you miss your loved ones who are now resting in peace in the arms of God? Well I do miss someone many a times. I was very young when he passed away. I don’t remember any memories associated with him but I really feel that he is somewhere around me and watching over me every day. I miss him because my mom always tells me that he was the one who loved me the most. It was him with whom I used to enjoy all the time. I feel so low that I don’t remember any of those moments. For people he is dead now, but I have always kept him alive inside my heart. I can feel his presence. You know where? Right within me..! My family members say that I have many similarities with him. It makes me feel happy. Every person has got a place to hide when he feels low; I hide inside my own heart because that’s where I find this man. I talk to him and he tells me what I should do next. Now does that mean my heart is heaven? Well, I don’t think so. May be he visits my heart on a consultancy basis whenever I need him. I don’t even remember his voice. All I have seen is his pictures. This is something that really makes me sad. I want to hear him but he is dumb for me! He only gives me hints. You know how I connect to him? I just close my eyes and imagine a white room with a large door. I constantly keep looking at it and it opens within few moments and I see him coming. May be that’s the door to heaven but I am not allowed to go there. I just sit at one place. He comes, he smiles and I sense his gesture. I feel so relaxed. I forget everything and my mind starts getting solutions to the problems. I think he injects them with his gesture. Whatever the way is, the fact is my mind really starts working and somehow reaches the solution. If I am sad he makes me visualize all the jolly memories. When I am angry he throws his signature awesomely saint like smile on me and I instantly get lost in that. He can deal with any emotions I display to him.
It’s not that he only comes when I call him. He always monitors me from wherever he is. I asked him many times where he resides but he just keeps smiling. He warns me whenever I am about do anything wrong. I am saying this because I see his face in front of me at such times. He tells me not to push myself into that particular matter. It sounds fictional but for me it’s the real truth of my life. Initially I used to think I have hallucinations but now I realize it’s my deep love and desire for him which drives me towards him. For once I also thought it’s the God who is helping me always. Being a Muslim I am bound to read NAMAAZ 5 times a day without fail. I don’t even read it once so this makes me realize that God is not at all happy with me. It can’t be Him. Then I thought it could be my parents but they are alive so that option is also ruled out. I never realized that there could be someone else too who can love me and help me out. It’s just today that I have realized this! It’s my GRANDFATHER! He is inside me. It’s he who helps me out and saves me. It’s not the long luck line on my palm but his love! He has taught me important lessons of life. I might have never heard his voice, I may not remember any moment spent with him but I know one thing that he has a temporary home within my heart.
Today I miss my Grandpa very much and he is not with me. It’s the rule of nature. I can’t break it but what matters here is that I never left him from me. He is all attached to me. Why am I sharing with you all this? I want you people to understand a few things.
1. Doctors declare a person dead when they their patient has stop breathing. People declare someone dead when they hear or go the funeral of that person but we (as individual) can always keep alive inside us. They are dead for us only when we forget them and kick them out of our heart.
2. Our heart and mind are two very confused and complicated organs. Everything is inside us but we have to find them inside us. If people say you are dumb that doesn’t mean you are actually dumb. It means you are still unable to find the things hidden inside you. My Grandpa never gave me ideas he just showed me the path where to find them inside me. It is collaborative effort of mind and heart which leads to perfect solution.
God Bless
Murtaza Alamshah
Reading Minds 